All feelings and mental experiences are normal. Though sometimes we experience them intensely or they get out of balance. When our inner functioning is at its optimum and we effectively use all of our innate potential, in our work and the rest of our life, we are at our peak “mental wellness.”

Mental wellness shows itself when we demonstrate:

• awareness of our own emotions
• initiative
• embracing change and the unknown
• purposeful attention
• creativity
• inner motivation
• having insights
• self-management.

These are all inner abilities that can be developed. You can improve your mental wellness with a proactive approach – just like going to the gym.

We have two minds: one that thinks and one that feels. We see this when, for example, we say we’re over our ex, as our eyes well up with tears.

Evolution grew the brain from the bottom up and its biological development today still roughly follows this course:

• The instinctive “brainstem” develops first: it regulates basic functions like breathing.
• Next comes the emotional centre: it learns and remembers.
• Then the thinking, rational brain develops – this part let’s us use logic, plan, and have thoughts about our feelings. Culture and civilisation come from our thinking brain.

Our thinking brain and emotional brain are strongly connected. Studies of patients with damaged emotional centres show flawed decision-making despite a stable IQ – feelings are necessary for rational decisions. They need to work together harmoniously. Crucially, emotional memories and reactions can bypass the thinking brain and form without any conscious thought at all.

Emotional memories imprint the strongest. They can affect our reactions in the future. Many are formed in the first few years of life. This is when the thinking brain is not fully developed but the emotional centre is close to formed. In this way, life’s earliest experiences form potent blueprints.

Our individual blueprints – from birth through all our experiences in life – are explored in therapy. Really, therapy is just talking – but using skilful techniques it uncovers our emotional memories and our patterns of thinking. In doing so we grow aware of their influence and – ultimately – can choose to take charge of them.

Our bespoke matching tool will recommend which approach is most likely to be right for you based on your answers. Here are some of the key differences between the two:

Our therapists are trained in a wide range of approaches. All have a Certificate/Diploma/Degree in one (or more) NICE recommended therapy for adults. The most common are integrated, psychodynamic, person-centred, psychoanalytic and cognitive behavioural. You can read more about the different approaches here. Our questionnaire will help you find the right therapist for you.

However, we think you are the best judge of who you want to work with. We believe the precise therapy model is not something to worry about in advance, and many therapists integrate a range of approaches. Ultimately, you know best what you want, who you feel comfortable working with and who you feel will get the best from you.

The first step is to have a chat and whilst doing so simply ask yourself – ‘Can I talk to this person?’

Many studies have shown that it does. 28% of the British population has talked to a therapist at some point. Therapy is not new. “Talking cures” have been around for decades (even centuries, depending how you look at it). Since 1900 modern techniques have been empirically developed and therapy continues to be increasingly popular.

This is totally up to you and want you want and expect to achieve. Some people are looking to do some short term work, some are committed to a longer, deeper process. We would recommend having a series of at least 6 sessions with the same practitioner as a minimum. Ultimately, it’s up to you.

We’ll match you with 3 people that our matching technology suggests are suitable for you. You can change practitioner any time if you feel the sessions aren’t working for you for whatever reason. You can also change your answers to the questions to get new suggested practitioners.

We would recommend talking to your practitioner about any concerns before you stop your sessions. Sometimes our reasons for wanting to stop or find someone else are all part of the learning experience and can tell us something about what is really going on for us. As we always encourage… do talk it through.